


This shit is cursed

by Polyhexian



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: The Headmasters
Genre: A little bit of Chromedome typical self deprication and not being willing to say no, Clone Sex, Double Penetration, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, POV Third Person, Sticky Sexual Interfacing (Transformers), Threesome - M/M/M, Valve Fingering (Transformers)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:49:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29775057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polyhexian/pseuds/Polyhexian
Summary: Wow, a Brainstorm experiment has gone wrong and Headmasters!Chromedome gets to meet IDW1!Chromedome and Rewind.If you've not actually sat through Headmasters, the dude is a total chad.
Relationships: Chromedome/Chromedome (Transformers), Chromedome/Chromedome/Rewind (Transformers), Chromedome/Rewind (Transformers)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	This shit is cursed

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to quetzalpapalotl for forcing my hand. Im too weak to turn down a challenge, even a deeply cursed one.

"Alright, listen-"

Chromedome narrowed his visor suspiciously when his comm crackled to life and Brainstorm started speaking. "What have you done now?"

"Why, I've achieved the theoretically impossible, _yet again,_ I might add, as it's becoming somewhat to be expected from me, so-"

"Storm," Chromedome said, "What did you do?"

There was a brief moment of silence. "Well," Brainstorm said carefully, "To tell you the truth, CD, everything's gone turrets up and I need a favour."

"A favour?" Chromedome repeated. Rewind looked up from where he was sitting at the desk in their habsuite, worked on the databank. 

"A _favour?_ " Rewind repeated, "That's never a good thing." 

"What favour?" Chromedome asked.

There was a knock at their habsuite door.

"Brainstorm," Chromedome insisted, staring at the door, " _What_ favour?"

He heard the door lock click (how did he keep doing that?!?) and then it opened. Brainstorm smoothly shoved in a stranger and leaned in the doorframe.

"Babysit him for like, two hours tops! And don't tell _anybody_ he's here! The universe could depend on it! Or at least, my reputation. Thanks guys!" 

Brainstorm slammed the door shut. 

Chromedome stared at the stranger standing just inside the door of their habsuite, processing rebooting as it tried to internalize that fact that was staring him in the face: _he_ was the stranger.

"What," Rewind said, spinning in his chair to stare, "This is nuts. Who are you?"

"Hi," said the person who definitely should not exist, "I'm Chromedome, leader of the Headmasters. Are you Rewind? You certainly look familiar, at least."

"No way," Rewind wheezed.

"You can't be Chromedome!" Chromedome exclaimed, " _I'm_ Chromedome!"

"Oh, yes, that would make sense," the other Chromedome responded, setting his hands on his much boxier hips and nodding firmly, "Brainstorm explained. Some sort of experiment gone wrong has resulted in pulling us out of our own universe and into yours. He assured me he's working on a solution as we speak."

"Wh- _us?_ "

"Yes, my Brainstorm and Rewind are here as well. I must say, though, I'm somewhat surprised by the selection. Rewind? Without Eject? Is Twincast here? I don't think we know each other particularly well, but that seems untrue for this universe."

"You're taking this really well!" Chromedome sputtered, "Are you _not_ weirded out by seeing an alternate universe version of yourself?"

"No," the blue-opticced Chromedome replied smoothly, "I've had stranger things occur." 

"Fascinating," Rewind mumbled with a curious glint in his visor. He clambered up onto the berth to stand up at almost optic height with the unfamiliar Chromedome. "You and your Rewind aren't conjunx endura?" 

"Conjunx whata?"

" _Fascinating,_ " Rewind repeated.

"Endura!" Chromedome exclaimed, standing up, "You know- together!" 

"What, romantically?" the other Chromedome raised an optic ridge, balking in disbelief. "No, definitely not."

"Are you with anyone, or do Cybertronians just not have romance in your universe?" Rewind asked, the red light of his camera switching on. 

"Hm," the foreign Chromedome tapped his battlemask in thought. "That's a difficult question to answer."

"Just do your best."

"Alright, well, back when we first crashed on Master after we defected from the war at large I was married to Jack and Abel, but then Sixshot attacked our mining outpost and killed Abel, and Jack was never really the same after that, so when he flunked out the transtector program he wanted a divorce, and wasn't that just peachy," Chromedome groaned, waving a flippant hand in the air as he spoke.

"Wh," Chromedome started, a half sound that didn't quite become a word, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"So you've been on your own since then? Oh, Chromedome, I'm so sorry," Rewind told him.

Chromedome rolled his optics with a scoff. "If only. No, the game changed when Ultra Magnus showed up, and Sixshot decided to start ratcheting up the stakes once a week. I really thought things would work out with Mags, but-"

"You were with _Ultra fucking Magnus?!"_ Chromedome exclaimed.

"-but that _motherfucker_ Sixshot," Chromedome snarled, punching a fist so hard into the wall it dented, "Killed him _too._ And _then_ I ran into Jack again, and wasn't that a blast from the past, cuz he wasn't too happy to see me at first, but we made up and agreed to start seeing each other again, and _that's when that motherfucking goddamn son of a bitch-"_

"Whoa, okay-" Rewind started, holding his hands out placating as the new Chromedome leaned into his monologue, frame tense with rage.

" _-Sixshot_ put a _bomb_ in his chest and made me _shoot_ him to save the rest of the city, and at that point I swore mortal vengeance on him but Primus, he's a slippery devil, impossible to catch. But I swear on the grave of every mech I've ever loved, when I get my hands on Sixshot I will dismantle him piece by piece and smelt each one in the fires of _Hell."_

"Wow, okay," Rewind said.

"That's- a lot," Chromedome commented.

The new Chromedome took a deep breath to collect himself and straightened up, leaning back against the wall coolly. "Anyway, lately I've been fooling around casually with Arcee but she said we can't have sex anymore unless I stop talking about Sixshot, and that's not about to happen, so I guess that's over."

" _Arcee!?"_ Chromedome wheezed, plopping back down into his chair. 

"What can I say, we're at war," New Chromedome shrugged. 

"Our war is actually over," Rewind informed him.

"Oh, is it? Did you pummel those damn Decepticreeps into the dirt?" New Chromedome asked, sounding excited.

"Not really. We all just sort of stopped fighting, I guess." 

"Oh," New Chromedome sounded disappointed. He glanced down at the berth. "Mind if I sit down?"

"Oh, no, not at all," Rewind assured him, stepping aside so New Chromedome could sit.

"Alright, well, that's my story," he said as he folded his arms behind his head, "What about you, Chrome? Who are you?" 

"Uh," Chromedome's mouth felt dry, "I guess I used to work in mechaforensics on Cybertron, and then when the war started I trained as a mnemosurgeon, and then after that I met Rewind and we've been together ever since. Honestly, my life is pretty boring."

Chromedome didn't fail to note the look Rewind shot him after he skipped straight from mnemosurgery to him. He'd really hoped that Rewind wasn't going to notice that pointed omission. He had a strong suspicion they were going to have a conversation about that later. 

"Oh, Domey," Rewind sighed. 

There was an awkward beat of silence before the other Chromedome spoke again, clearing his throat.

"So… you wanna fuck?"

Chromedome felt his processor spin like a hamster wheel as he processed that. "I'm sorry," he said, "Excuse me?"

"How many chances do you have to fuck your paradox clone? Primus, don't tell me you don't fuck in this universe."

Chromedome stared at him, caught somewhere between revulsion and confusion, but then he looked at Rewind, who was staring at the other Chromedome, visor bright and back straight. He was _excited._

Chromedome swallowed and tried to tamp down his reservations. The other him was right, this wasn't an opportunity that would likely come up again, and if he said no, Rewind would be disappointed…

"Uh, yeah, I mean, I guess so," Chromedome said carefully, looking at Rewind, who had swivelled to face him, bubbling at the seams with enthusiasm.

"What, really? You want to?" he asked. Chromedome forced himself to chuckle weakly and sit up straight. 

"Yeah, why not? If you're okay with it."

"Wow, this is my lucky day!" the other Chromedome announced, "Gotta tell you, Chrome, you snagged a catch with this one. He knows how to party."

"I know how to party," Chromedome huffed.

"Not to mention he's sexy as hell," the other Chromedome purred, leaning forward to tilt Rewind's chin up, giving him an openly lurid once over, "The visor was a good choice."

Rewind giggled, as if delighted by the attention. "Oh, haha- well thank you. You're not too bad yourself."

Chromedome felt a pang of jealousy and quashed it. He shouldn't be jealous of himself. It was ridiculous.

"Has your me been taking good care of you?" his double inquired, sliding his battlemask open to reveal a confident smirk. His hand wandered away from Rewind's jawline to trail down his chest. "He better be."

"Oh, Domey takes _such_ good care of me," Rewind told him, and Chromedome felt a warm flood of relief at the confidence with which Rewind made the assertion, "We don't interface as much as we used too, though."

"Oh?" the other Chromedome prompted, tracing the seamline of Rewind's waist, "How long have you two been an item?"

"Two million years," Chromedome answered. 

The other Chromedome sighed wistfully. "Lucky." He sat up on his knees. "Does your mask open?" 

"Oh! Yes," Rewind answered, opening his blast mask, "Don't tell anyone, though, I hate taking it off." 

"It'll be our secret," he turned his optics to peer at Chromedome sitting in his desk chair near the foot of the berth, "How do you feel about watching first? We'll make it a good show, _Domey._ "

Chromedome had no idea where the ferocious shot of arousal that sent through his circuits and straight to his array had come from. That was a new one. Not a bad thing, though, definitely weird, definitely something he was going to lie awake having an existential crisis about later, but it was certainly making this a better experience, at least.

"Sure," he said, voice strained, "Go ahead."

Rewind's visor glittered and before the other Chromedome could respond again, he had grabbed him by the finials and pulled their faces together. Sudden though it was, Chromedome responded easily, pushing his tongue through Rewind's parted lips and reaching up to pull him closer until their chests were flush together, Rewind's head tilted up and visor dim. 

Rewind gasped into his mouth when he reached down to squeeze his aft, and Chromedome could hear his fans click on from across the room. 

Rewind rose up on his toepedes while the hand on his aft slid down between his legs to massage his modesty panel, rubbing the warm metal with two fingers as he moved to mouth at his neck struts instead. Rewind clung to his shoulders, visibly enjoying the attention, and Chromedome tried to remember the last time he'd made Rewind make a face like that.

Rewind's panel snapped open and Chromedome heard a wet squelch as the other Chromedome sunk his fingers into his conjunx's valve. Rewind moaned, closed-mouthed as he buried his face in the other mech's chest, pushing his after back into his touch. 

"At least this is the same," the headmaster murmured, voice husky, "I can work with this." 

He sank back on his ankles, pulling Rewind down into his lap as he worked his way deeper into his valve. The minibot tilted his head to look over an arm toward where Chromedome was watching. 

Chromedome couldn't quite place his expression at first until it snapped into place; he was _searching_ him for something. Chromedome wasn't sure what.

"Domey," Rewind said, voice heady, visor dim. The neediness he spoke with was unfamiliar, a pitch Chromedome had never quite heard before, but his optics were on him and his thighs were trembling and- and Chromedome's spike _thunked_ against the back of his panel.

He sat straight up, mortified, but Rewind's visor flared in visible delight and he pushed himself up to whisper something in his double's audial he couldn't hear, but it made him laugh. He picked Rewind clean up by the armpits, shifted back against the headboard and turned him in his lap, pulling the minibot's back against his chest so he was facing his conjunx. 

The other Chromedome sat up to knock his legs open, setting his whole array on display as he slid his hand back around his front to spread Rewind's valve lips apart with his fingers, totally ignoring his twitching spike. Chromedome realized the other Chromedome was watching him now, too, very deliberately as he mouthed at his neck. His shifted his legs further apart as his own array clicked open, thick spike sliding between Rewind's thighs to dribble prefluid against his plating. Rewind shivered.

"Why aren't you touching yourself?" the other Chromedome asked him, and the question sounded more sincerely curious than an invitation or prompt to do so, but Chromedome wasn't sure if it was or not. One hand held Rewind steady, palm flat against his chest while the one on his valve left it to grab his own spike and navigate it upwards, head teasing against the mesh. Rewind rolled his head back and whined through his dentae. 

"I don't know," Chromedome answered honestly, and he wondered if this was what it felt like to be hypnotized. 

"Don't you think Rewind is sexy?" his double asked innocently, canting his hips upward just enough to tease the tip of his spike against Rewind's spread open channel, lubricant dripping down his length. "Don't you think he wants you to feel good?"

Chromedome's array opened without his instruction. 

"Attaboy," his double told him with a smirk and a wink, before he shifted his hips and sank into Rewind's valve. His conjunx cried out and his hands flew up to grab at the shoulders behind him. Chromedome grabbed his spike before he could convince himself not to and relief from the ache radiated along his circuits as he jerked himself off.

"Oh, Primus, Chromedome-" Rewind cried, arching his spinal strut as his visor flared. Chromedome could tell he was playing it up, but that was only turning him on more, that even in a position like this Rewind was still thinking of him. 

"Is it good?" Chromedome heard himself ask.

"Ah- it's so good!" Rewind cried, "Domey, he's so deep, I- it-"

Chromedome kicked out of his chair and clambered onto the berth, crawling forward to sit up on his knees in front of his conjunx. He didn't even know what he planned on doing but before he could decide, Rewind grabbed his face and he barely managed to snap his blast mask open in time for him to mash their faces together, shoving his tongue down his throat with a desperation Chromedome hadn't felt in him in years.

"I think someone _likes_ you," the other Chromedome purred as he kept his pace thrusting up into Rewind, and the minibot pulled his face away from Chromedome's, gasping. 

"I want you," Rewind panted, hands still on Chromedome's face. 

"Next?" Chromedome asked.

"Now," Rewind corrected. Behind him, the other Chromedome groaned at the thought, burying his face in Rewind's neck and tightening his grip. 

"What?" Chromedome gasped, "Rewind- that's too much, you're too small, we'll hurt you-"

"N-no, no, I'm not- it's not too much," Rewind insisted, "You won't hurt me."

"Rewind-"

"Don't you trust him?" Chromedome's mirror double asked, looking up at him through his optics. 

Chromedome hesitated, but Rewind met his visor with such wanton desire, pleading and full of love that he made up his mind and glanced at his double, who nodded. He scooted up closer as the two of them went still, giving him room to move into position, spike bumping up against Rewind's swollen valve. His conjunx clung to his neck as he navigated himself into his fully stretched entrance, whining high pitched and broken as he did so. 

He rolled his hips up into him, his familiar valve suddenly foreign and exciting, stretched so tight it nearly hurt, his spike sliding over the ridges of the other Chromedome's where they met. 

"Fuck, yeah," the doppelganger mumbled reverantly, twitching his hips and generating delicious friction that made Chromedome feel weak in his struts. "Primus, you're perfect."

Chromedome didn't know who he was talking to but he nudged his face into Rewind's, who was panting, visor leaking, completely wrecked. "Okay?"

"Better than," Rewind answered, voice cracking, "Please. Domey, move, please- I need you-"

"Move, Domey, he needs you," the other Chromedome chuckled, tugging Chromedome forward by his chest armor to sandwich the datastick between them. 

Chromedome couldn't possibly deny his lover such a desperate request. He grabbed the headboard behind the two of them to brace himself as he rocked his hips out and then in, sinking deeper than the first time, Rewind's arms trembling around his neck where they clutched him as if for dear life.

Chromedome didn't think Rewind was playing it up at all anymore. He was whining mindlessly, face streaked with tears as he trembled and begged and moaned, completely gone. Chromedome had never seen him so totally wrecked before. He was beautiful. 

"P-please, I'm- I'm almost- don't stop, it's-" Rewind pleaded, arms squeezed so tight around Chromedome's neck it nearly hurt. He lost his pace, thrusting frantically at his Conjunx's insistence, desperate for his release. He glanced up over Rewind's shoulder at his double to find him giving him heady, lust filled optics, mouth open and condensation on his plating- he surged forward and captured Chromedome's lips in his own, an irrevocable feeling of oneness passing between them, dedicated wholly to the same pursuit together.

Rewind came sobbing, his legs kicking against the berth and his visor flaring near white, spilling transfluid across Chromedome's belly where his spike was trapped between them. He slowed down until he was still, resting inside him, gasping for breath. Rewind was still trembling, crying, but his field was too satisfied for Chromedome to think he was hurt. 

"Does the little guy need a break?" the other Chromedome chuckled. Rewind nodded weakly.

Chromedome gently hefted him up as his double moved away, scooping up his legs that seemed to have turned to jello before setting him back down on the berth. Rewind rolled very dramatically onto his back and threw and arm over his visor, armour heat-pinging as he reregulated his overtaxed cooling fans. 

"You didn't finish, though," his doppelganger purred and Chromedome turned back as he leaned into his space, both hands cupping his jawline.

"No," Chromedome agreed nervously. As anxious as he was, as weird as all this felt and how much he hadn't really wanted to do this when they started, Rewind was happy and that made him happy, and the headmaster's approach was filling him with a giddy excitement that he hadn't felt in eons. 

"Let's fix that, huh?" he growled, and summarily surged forward, pushing Chromedome onto his back as their mouths found each other again. 

The other Chromedome was bigger than he was, boxier, more like his old frame but even bigger than that. Chromedome could tell by his touch and by his scoured plating this iteration of himself was not a surgeon, not a forensics examiner. He was a soldier, one who fought long and fought often, scarred and strong and sturdy. He held Chromedome down by his wrists and the feeling of his spike rubbing up against Chromedome's untouched valve was making him crazy. 

"Look at me," his double ordered, voice low and insistent. Chromedome didn't even realize he'd offlined his visor but he flipped it back on and met his gaze, intense and golden. "What do you want?"

Chromedome wasn't sure how to answer. An overwhelming amount of processing power was being consumed by his focus on where the other mech's spike was touching him. "I want…"

The other Chromedome frowned in concentration before he seemed to make a decision. "You're a service top, aren't you?"

"Uh-huh," Rewind said wearily before Chromedome could answer, "You should spike him. He hasn't been spiked by someone bigger than me in forever."

The other Chromedome smiled wickedly. "No?" he asked, shifting to nibble at Chromedome's jugular line, rolling his hips so that his spike dragged through the mesh of his valve. "Don't you miss being held down by someone bigger than you and taken care of? Is that what you want?"

"Ah-" Chromedome gasped, hiking his legs up. Part of him felt mortified, embarrassed, but from the corner of his visor he could see Rewind watching him with apparent adoration and his doppelganger was being far too earnest to think he was mocking him, and he swallowed thickly. "Y-yes."

Chromedome had been spiked by mechs bigger than Rewind before. He'd had plenty of things in his valve bigger than Rewind since he'd met him, too, but still, the other Chromedome's spike sinking into him felt good like he'd forgotten good could even feel, the thickness of it stretching him full and he couldn't help but sigh, whole-body stuttering through his vents. 

"Thaaaaat's it, pillow princess, I've got you." Chromedome couldn't even find it within himself to be particularly offended. He locked his ankles behind his blocky partner's back and arched his hips up into his thrusts, urging him deeper. 

"Hehe, you look so happy, Domey," Rewind giggled, chin resting in his arms as he watched him. Chromedome shivered.

"He looks a lot more than that," the other Chromedome commented, "On his back is a good look for him, I'd say."

"Nn," Chromedome groaned, feeling his faceplate heat up. His doppelganger sat up without slowing, optics hungrily consuming him up and down.

"Handsome motherfucker," he smirked. 

"Bit conceited, isn't it?" Chromedome managed.

"Yes," he replied immediately, "I don't know about you, but I think I'm hot as hell. I love myself."

Chromedome was struck suddenly by the realization that they were _very_ different people.

He lost that train of thought and all others, though, when the other Chromedome shifted his hips upward and his spike slammed into Chromedome's ceiling node and he gasped, head thrown back and scrabbling for purchase against his chest. He didn't say anything else, just focused in on that spot until Chromedome was shaking, mouth open in a silent scream, so tense he felt he might break, until his vision finally went white and the tension snapped, his climax washing over him like a flood.

His finish seemed to have pulled his double over the edge with him, the headmaster snarling as he leaned forward, hilting as he filled him with transfluid, hot and deep and _satisfying_.

After a moment their guest laughter wearily and sat up, wiping condensation from his helm as he pulled away and sat back against the headboard again. "Nice. That was great."

"Mmhmm," Rewind hummed as he crawled up next to Chromedome and butted their heads together affectionately. Chromedome nuzzled him back weakly, still catching up with himself. 

"Two million years, huh?" the headmaster asked, "And you guys never shake it up like this? Wow." 

"Domey's sensitive," Rewind answered, "I assumed the idea would hurt his feelings." Chromedome felt an odd swirling in his fuel tanks, and Rewind glanced up at him through his visor. "I never thought you'd _want_ to. I should have asked you sooner." He laughed, soft and light. "Sorry, Domey."

Chromedome couldn't parse how that made him feel. It went in a lot of directions. Rewind had wanted to do this, but hadn't because he thought he didn't want to, he was holding himself back on his account but also he was worried about him and-

"You're welcome," the other Chromedome snorted. "Primus. What I wouldn't give to trade places."

Chromedome took a second to process that. "What?"

"You're the luckier Chromedome, huh? Wars over. You got hitched for the long run. You don't even have a blaster holster on you. You two are living the good life up here."

Chromedome had never once considered himself lucky in his life. For all his double's seeming blase care, though, he had to live with the memories of his loved ones deaths. He was still fighting. He was the one who couldn't seem to move on or move forward. Maybe he wasn't as cool and chill as he was pretending to be. Maybe he _was_ the lucky one. 

"Hey, Brainstorm," the other said, tapping his audial, "Are you two still working on it?" He paused. "Alright then. Let me know." He leaned back. "He said 'two more hours, tops.' Are you down for the count or did you wanna keep going?"

"I dooo!" Rewind sing-songed.

"In a second," Chromedome sighed, realizing he _did_ want to, and not just because Rewind did. He _was_ having fun. "What did you have in mind?"

The other Chromedome reached up and neatly pulled his head off his shoulders. "D'you wanna swap?"

"Primus, what the _fu-_ " Chromedome stammered, shooting up, but Rewind simply yelped in surprise and fell off the side of the berth. Both Chromedomes stopped and looked down at him to see if he was alright, their visitor holding his head out at arms length. 

"That wasn't the reaction I was expecting," the severed head said, "Is this not normal for you?" 

"What??" Chromedome exclaimed, reaching down to offer Rewind a hand back up, "No! Why does your head come off?"

"Fascinating," said the head, "Are you not using a transtector?"

"A what? No, I don't know what that is."

"Fascinating!" he repeated. He set his head down on the berth as Chromedome picked Rewind back up and set him down. The head rolled back and transformed into the tiniest minibot Chromedome had ever seen in his life.

"What the fuck," Chromedome said.

"Oh my _god!_ " Rewind hollered, scrambling away from Chromedome to stand next to minibot Chromedome. He barely came up to his waist. "Why didn't you _lead_ with this!"

"Well I assumed you knew what a headmaster was," the tiny robot scoffed, setting his hands on his hips. He pointed back at where the rest of his body was sitting and it waved. " _That's_ a transtector! We make them so we can go toe to toe with the big guys."

"Like a loadbearer!" Rewind gasped, "Domey, I swear to Primus if you're _also_ a loadbearer and not telling me, I'm going to-"

"I'm not!" Chromedome rushed to assure him, "Cross my spark! I'll get X-rays if you want, I'm _not_ a loadbearer!" 

"What a fascinating reaction," the little Chromedome commented, "In any case, I guess that means swapsies are out. That's a shame." 

"I'm sorry," Chromedome said awkwardly.

"I want you to know I'm not above begging," Rewind began, "And I've never topped anyone smaller than me before."

The little Chromedome flashed Rewind a peace sign emphatically. "Let's fix that, then, huh?"

Chromedome checked his chronometer. It had been almost an hour since the first time Brainstorm had said it would be two hours. He had a sneaking suspicion "two hours" was going to be a great many hours, and that this was going to be a long night.

"Domey, come here!" Rewind bubbled excitedly, "I need your help!"

Weirdly, he didn't actually think he minded that.


End file.
